MOVE to improve your relationships.

Finding true love, finding true friendship, becoming apart of something bigger than yourself is a quest everyone finds themselves upon. The question is how many of us will fulfill this quest.  It is a journey the brave take and the courageous finish.  To develop, strengthen and maintain relationships  requires us to leave where we are and to move.

Move from “I” to “we.” Getting along begins “we” attitude. More important than I am is the team, the marriage, the family or the friendship. Look not to your own interest but to the interests of others.

Move from controlling people to aligning passions. No one enjoys being controlled. People stop struggling against you when you align passions with mission. The big picture makes sense. You encourage those around you to be their best and reach for their dreams. Whatever you do, do it with all your heart.

Move from complexity to simplicity. The courage to cut away at complexity until simplicity emerges is a rare gift. Most of us enjoy the feeling of importance that complexity creates. Our pride gets in the way and in front of the people in our lives. “If you can't explain it simply, you don't understand it well enough.” (Albert Einstein)

Move from who is right to what is right. Opinions, passions, choices and mistakes happen all around us all the time. Step back and breath. See the issue as the issue not as personal. It doesn’t matter who messed up. It doesn’t matter who comes up with solutions. Give people the opportunity to make things right.  Bear with one another.

Move from talking “at” to talking “with.” The more you talk “at” others the farther away you push them. Conversations with you become guarded and distant. You will see that glazed over expression more and more. Ironically talking “with” other is mostly listening. Be quick to listen slow to speak.

Move from right and wrong to better and best. Not being black and white, most relationships have many shades. Look at all sides of a topic or issue and choose what is better and what is best. Then look again and choose the next best answer. Complex issues have more than one answer.

Move from symptoms to causes. Symptoms are painful and distracting. They often take up our time and energy. But addressing symptoms doesn’t move us forward or solve anything. The reason you’re always putting out fires is you haven’t addressed the root issue. Instead of always looking for the extinguisher look for what is causing the fire.

Move from feeling confused to pursuing clarity. Feelings get hurt when assumptions are made. Relationships become convoluted and confusing when we “think” we know.  How often are we wrong when filling in the blanks for another. It is much better to clarify, restate and ask if you got it right.

Move out of the way and let others in. Let them in close, close to your dreams, close to your mistakes. Scary? Yes. What if they don’t like what is there. They might not. But then again, they may. You only find true love, friendship and camaraderie when others see the real you.

Move from receiving praise to giving it. Let someone else shine. Give them the credit and God the glory. Look for opportunities to complement, encourage and praise. Live out in your daily life the ideal of “it’s not about me.” Because really, it isn't.  Love the Lord your God and love your neighbor as yourself.
May you enjoy the journey.