You are the boulder

    Like a comet pulled from orbit as it passes a sun, like a stream that meets a boulder, half way through the wood…because I knew you – I have been changed for good. These words are in the song “For Good” from the Broadway musical Wicked. Usually we hear them and ponder how others have changed our lives, how we have been effected. Because our perspective us usually about us. Self-centered, self-absorbed, not necessarily selfish but self-oriented. We first see things from our eyes looking out. Turn the glasses around and see how you affect others. Consider that YOU are the sun pulling at the orbit of a passing comet. You are the boulder that changes the course of a stream. 

You change the lives of those around you. Sometimes for better sometimes for worse, you change people. A kind word, a friendly face, you make the difference between despair and hope to someone. Someone you may not even know. You lift people up and carry them through difficult times, or give them that much needed push to keep them swinging a little bit longer. You may intentionally help or unknowingly encourage or accidentally hinder. You are never neutral or benign. Just like all beings have a gravitational pull. You have influence and you affect those around you. Because I knew you I have been changed. It is not a question of do you? It is a question of what are you doing?
     “Prepare the way of the Lord, make his path straight, every valley will be filled, every mountain will be made low. The crooked will become straight, the rough made smooth. Everyone will see the salvation of God.” (Luke 3:4-6) You may see the same people though out a life time. Over and over people pass by you, family, friends, at the grocery checkout, at work, neighbors, at the drive through, in the doctor’s office. You spend time with others maybe unknowingly. You laugh together, cry and sweat together. Find love, get married, have children, begin and end careers side by side with other people. Someone you have never looked at is the someone you have pushed. Pushed away or pushed forward? Because I knew you, I have been changed. The valley was filled in and the mountain made low. Because I knew you, was the way to salvation easier to see? Is your life and language an obstacle in the path of another’s spiritual walk? Is the mountain to climb harder because of the debris you have piled on someone’s life? Or does your presence make it easier for them to see God? You have smoothed the way for another to reach salvation. Your life has straightened path. Because I knew you, I have been changed, for good.

Listen to Dissent

Are the nay sayers really our point men?

As a team leader your job is to sell the group on an idea and keep selling them.  Then listen really well, let everybody have a voice and let there be dissent.  Figure it out together.  In meetings, discuss an idea with a “devil’s advocate” at your side.   Find out what the dissenter would say.   At first you may get the popular, everyone’s on board, honeymoon phase, love the idea answers.  That only demonstrates a need to listen more carefully. There is always another point of view.  There are questions, hesitations, reservations about every idea even the good ones.  Hearing what should have been done after the fact is of no help.   Invite the opposing ideas.  Listen to the dissenters.  They may intend to tell you why it can’t be done, but if you listen hard, what they are really telling is what you must do to get something done.  They are showing you how to clear the pathway to success and safely reach your goal. 

Flying

Sitting in an ICU watching an 85 year old couple talk, laugh and love.  There is a comfort between them that is visible. So accustom to life together, they now wake, sleep and eat on the same schedule.  There are both  kind words and frustration expressed openly. It is a wonder to watch total honesty between two people, to see complete openness. The conversations we have with ourselves, inside our heads, are expressed aloud between two people. Almost like talking to yourself.  Through the years love for self and love for another can melt together. Over the years, adversity and blessings, being richer and poorer,  experiencing sickness and health can  bind two individuals together  like a welder. You may be able to distinguish where one stops and another starts but they cannot be separated without great difficulty. The two have become one.  One physically, looking alike they talk and move alike. One emotionally, think alike but openly correct and question each other. One spiritually, taking great comfort in a faith nurtured together over the decades.  It may not be possible to understand or appreciate the depth of a life-long marriage from the outside looking in. It cannot be explained, only experienced. Sadly, so few are willing to invest the effort into a life long relationship. Forgiveness, consideration, companionship always benefit the giver as well as the receiver. We are so afraid to be selfless that we never get the chance to see the return on these blessings. We can't cling to the cliff and fly at the same time.  Jump. Jump into marriage with total abandonment  of self interests. Cling to each other instead of the cliff.  Sore in the good times, hold on through the bad. Don't be afraid to give in to another's wishes. Don't be afraid to change. Marriage take courage. Two are better than one because they have a good reward for their efforts. For if either falls, his companion can lift him up. (Ecclesiastes 4:9)
Sitting in an ICU, watching a 85 year old couple after 68 years of marriage. Life has aged the outer shells. The minds and the bodies are slower. I know this is not a permanent home for them. But I am watching them fly, together. 

Love

I admire the wisdom of Pooh. 

The question is...

I know what you are thinking.  Is the glass half full or is the glass half empty. But I read a third question this week.   How heavy is the glass of water?  You may guess or you may be the kind who goes and gets a glass and weighs it.  Then again you may be a smart one and already have an idea of the weight of the glass and the water.   But the answer is-- it doesn't matter, it all depends on how long you have to hold it.   If you hold it out for a few minutes it weighs very little.  If you a hold it out for an hour or more your arm might ache.  If I ask you to hold it straight out for a day your are likely to tire, cramp, get numb or drop it.  The weight  didn't change, but the longer you hold it the heavier it feels. 
Now, think about your stresses, your worries or concerns. And think about your blessings and obligations. If your life is half empty with heart ache or your life is half full with service you still constantly carry the weight around.  The longer you carry it the heavier it gets.  You begin to tire, feel numb and  things begin to slip. The weight of the problems may vary, but holding on to them and never putting them down will eventually defeat you.  It is important to let go of stress and worries. Put them down if just for a time.  Cast all your cares on God because he cares for you.  Jesus said "my load is not hard to carry."  I have thought it would be irresponsible to put down my worries.  After all I want to do my part, "pull my weight" and contribute.  How could I just put them down and walk away?  But what occurred to me this week is we all need rest and respite.   Respite is "a delay or cessation for a time."  You can put them down, walk away and breath and rest for a time.  It is ok.  You will still be responsible, you can come back and pick up where you left off.  Just give your self a break.  God does.  God wants us to stay with him for the long haul, actually for eternity.  So pace yourself and put it down.  Whatever "it" is.   You see if the glass is half  empty with burdens and worries you will tire and become discouraged.  If the glass is half full of service, blessing and responsibility, you will tire and burn out.  Either way, it becomes too heavy to bear.  God is right there to carry it for you.  Give it to him in prayer, place it in his hands.  He doesn't get tired.   And you can share it with your brethren.  Confess your sins to one another and pray for each other, that you may be healed.  Confession opens the door to our dark places and lets the light of prayer in.  Let go of your burdens, if just for a little while and hold on to friends and family.  You can always go back and pick up where you left off and you will find the burden is not quite so heavy as you remembered. 

we were never meant to be spectators

Talk shows are about spectating.  Comedy, TV,  politics, even dog shows,  dating the bachelor, running the amazing race, being a housewife, weight loss and surviving have all been sold to us as spectator sports.  Selling spectatorhood is pretty simple. It's safe and fun and easy. You hit the remote. You pretend you have power--the power to turn it off, to change the channel, to buy or not to buy. We've seduced the masses with this simple bargain.  You really don’t have to do anything, invest anything, risk anything.  Live vicariously through another while sitting at home safely tucked away pretending you are living.  It fools the mind into thinking there is real life going on when it is closer to a holographic image of life.  A hollow life.

We have even permitted the role of the spectator to move into the work world, into our homes and into our churches. Most people, most of the time, are told to watch not to lead, to follow not to create.  We have been convinced the risk is too great, only the talented, intelligent,  strong and the outstanding will succeed anyway.  We would be better off just watching.  How is it that sitting on the sidelines while cheering or critiquing has become equal to sweating, trying, failing and overcoming?  The spectators foolishly assert that if everyone was a doer, a leader and a shaker, then there'd be no one left in the audience. As if those who do require an audience. The spectator sees his role as necessary because it is too painful to see it as anything less. 

The alternative to being a spectator involves failure, risk and potential pain and humiliation.  It means that you will encounter people who criticize you, people who are eager to point out the stain on your jacket or the flaw in your reasoning.  Spectators in the stands are happy to boo, happy to walk out when the team is struggling in the third period, happy to switch loyalties if the show ceases to delight. The spectator invests little and cares less. The farther away you are from the center of the action the easier it is to criticize.  The more of yourself you pour into the mix the more you will help others along the way and the less you will care about the fickle crowd crying foul.  You will be doing, not watching.  You will care about the process, the people and the outcome. You won’t walk away when it gets hard because this is your life not the image of one. Those that have bravely stood up, stood out and made a difference, can't help but ask, "why would I ever want to be a spectator again?"  You may find that trying and loosing is vastly more rewarding than sitting on the sides. Trying and winning  is exhilarating. 

Falling Down - Changing Course

We planned for months.  I worked extra to have enough time to take off. Then we went to the meetings, packed all we thought we might need and headed to the airport at 4 in the morning.  It is one of our favorite weeks of the year.  It is the week we go on a mission trip to Honduras.  A lot of hard work is planned around cement bricks, shoveling dirt, sand and gravel, hauling buckets and bricks.  It is wonderful.  Staying at Baxter Institute with students from all over the Central America and the Caribbean, is the best. Work and sweat through the day, eat the food at Baxter, sing and pray in the evening then repeat the next day.  You would be amazed at how much a group of 50 or so can get done in 6 days with everyone pitching in and working hard.  You actually feel significant, like you are doing something that matters and you can physically see the results right before your eyes.  I love this week. I had it all planned out. And then I fell down, literally. 

We finishing a clinic and started working at a church site on the side of the mountain.  I slipped coming down the hill and landed none too gracefully on my face. My nose, lips, chin were full of gravel, scratched and bleeding.  My hands, arms, elbow, knees etc bruised and hurting. Yes it was one of my finer moments.  But my friends helped to clean me up and put ice on the rapidly swelling lips. My husband ran to my side.  Everyone was very kind, I was frightful looking.  The rest of the week children would ask what was wrong with my face while adults would  stare at me or apologize for my injury, lovely.  The worst  came the next day when I could not go back to work with the rest of the group. But don't you see, I had it all planned out.  How hard I would work and then come back dirty and tired each night.  Now I could no longer contribute, this was all wrong.  I felt worthless. I tried to take pictures of the rest of the group, post them on line, be the unofficial photographer.  But it did not feel the same. So I felt sorry for myself and more than a little let down by my circumstances.  It just wasn't so posed to work out this way. Thankfully, I was invited to go chapel with the students and having  "nothing better to do,"  I went.  I went in late and sat down on the back row noticing that I'm the only female in the room -- awkward.  I  asked the man next to me if it was OK if I was there, he said yes but I might like to go to the  Ladies Chapel that day (yes I might).  So I made my way to room 4 and slipped in late taking the last chair left open.  Only to find I took the speaker's chair --awkward again.  She said it was OK, she was going to stand in a moment anyway.   She speaks, then a lovely lady offers to translate the lesson for me.  It was about controlling our tongue and our attitude, a wonderful lesson.  She then asked if I would please pray for them in English.  I was so honored to go to God for these dedicated women, I was moved and humbled. We prayed together,  me in English and them in Spanish. Afterward they told me there was a women's Bible study the next day and asked if I could come and give the lesson.  Again the lovely lady would  translate for me.  What a gift they had just given to me. Without knowing, they gave me purpose and direction. They didn't feel sorry for me, they filled a void.  I spent the next morning in study and prayer.  I stayed on campus and had opportunity to visit with more students.

That afternoon  I went with a friend and together with women from Honduras, Bolivia, Nicaragua, Guatemala, Cuba and The Dominican Republic we studied God's word.  I was blessed beyond measure. I thought I had my week planned, I thought I knew how and where I would serve. I almost let self pity and disappointment rob me of the best experience of service. It was there for me, just not where I was looking.

Are we so focused on what we think we are so pose to be about that we miss opportunities passing right in front of us?  Pain, loss, rejection, injury, illness-- keep naming those things that get in the way of our plans. Those things that cause us to fall down.  You can stay down, stay injured and feel sorry for yourself or get up and accept some help.  You are not alone, some one will run to your side.  There is a place you need to be and a job you can do. You just have to be willing to change course.